Robots will be calling balls and strikes in the majors soon, maybe next season, and we thought it might be instructive to speak to a veteran bot about the minor leagues. So we sat down with Kaat the Bot in the Blue Jays clubhouse in Dunedin, Florida.
Are you excited about the possibility of going to the Show?
Hell yes. There’s nothing left to for us prove in the minors. We made the game faster, fairer and more fun. What else they can ask from a group of bots? Time to move on up.
Are you afraid some fans may boo you?
Boo who? Boo me? I welcome it. I have a thick skin and fans have every right to boo, and that’s what fans should do if I blow a call. It means they’re paying attention. I can’t wait to work in Philadelphia — and not just for the cheesesteaks.
How did the fans treat you in Triple-A?
We heard our fair share of abuse, naturally, name-calling and dehumanizing stuff. But we were prepared, we had good training. The worst day was a protest at the Wendelstedt Umpire School in Florida, where young umps were marching and carrying signs that read, “Bots Will Not Replace Us.” Hey, change ain’t easy, we know that, but sports is a meritocracy, right? If we stink, get rid of us. But then you’re stuck with the likes of Laz Diaz and Angel Hernandez. Oops. Maybe I shouldn’t say that. Can we edit that out?
What is that accent I detect?
I am from Denmark, like Hamlet.
Is there baseball in Denmark?
Not in my experience. But I just read that the Czechs love baseball. They have a team in the World Baseball Classic. Go figure.
How did you pick the name Kaat the Bot?
My father had a cousin in Minnesota, and he would send us tapes of all the Twins games. Every time Jim Kaat was on the mound, my father said he reminded him of a good robot. His delivery was always the same, and he never bobbled a grounder or overthrew a base. He was a great fielder. Weird, isn’t it, how pitchers earn millions of dollars for their arm and yet they can’t throw to second base? Or sometimes, first base? Kaat was the best — 16 Gold Gloves. So when all the bots were given a choice of names, Kaat the Bot was a no-brainer. We have a Rocket Bot, a Say Hey Bot, and a Cool Papa Bot. Not a lot of good nicknames lately, huh?
What about Joey Bats Bot?
I don’t know if pitchers would appreciate that one.
Do you feel bad for the umpires you are replacing?
We are not replacing anyone — we are assisting. Umpires will still be behind the plate to signal a ball or a strike, and they still have to determine foul tips and check swings and hit-by-pitches. We only call balls and strikes and relay what we see through ear pods. We will be out of sight, and soon enough, we hope, out of mind. Just a small camera on the roof. ABS — Automated Ball-Strike System — is what they call us. Umpires will have full employment. Even Laz Diaz.
How did the players treat you in the minors?
I have to say the players were, by and large, very accepting. In fact, most of them loved us, thought we were more consistent than most of the sentient umps, and had a higher percentage of correct calls. They still have an instinct to argue balls and strikes, but that’s a moot point now.
What was the biggest problem with the pitch clock?
When the pitcher and the catcher weren’t on the same page and the pitcher wanted to call for a different pitch but didn’t have enough time to shake him off and start over. That’s a touchy spot to be in. Some managers tell their pitchers to take the penalty rather than a throwing a pitch without conviction.
Do robots have groupies or Robo Annies?
This is one area that we have been instructed to not talk about. Let’s put it this way, a lot of people, men and women alike, are curious about the new kid on the block. That’s all I can say. Next question.
Is there a pitch clock for meetings at the mound?
No. You can’t take all the humanity out of the game. A pitcher might feel a snap or need a little pep talk. And managers will always want to take the ball from their pitcher’s hand and then pat his behind. That’s baseball.
Any oddities that you anticipate this season?
Runners on second and third, late in the game, pitcher running out of gas, or disgruntled, and instead of signaling an intentional walk, he would just stand there for 20 seconds and then another 20 and then another 20 and then another. He could take over a minute to issue a free pass.
What would you do in that instance?
What could we do? Nothing. Except Laz Diaz — he would probably throw someone out of the game.
You mention Laz Diaz quite often.
Instructors told us he was the opposite of a good role model. We try to stay invisible, whereas Laz is looking for attention.
Any other new wrinkles you anticipate?
Infield shifts are banned, sure, but outfield shifts are still legal. So instead of moving the second baseman into short right field when Rafael Devers comes up, or maybe Kyle Schwarber, some team will move the left fielder there. I look forward to seeing that: an extreme outfield shift.
So you’re generally OK with all the new rules?
The only part of the new rules I don’t understand is calling a strike on a batter if he’s not focused on the pitcher with 8 seconds on the clock. Why do that? If the batter isn’t ready, that’s on him. Just pitch the ball. We’ll see if he was ready or not.
Any rules that might be modified or altered in the near future?
I would prefer they turn off the pitch clock for the ninth inning. Who wants to rush through what might be the most dramatic part of the game? Let’s say it’s one-run game in the ninth inning with a runner at second. I say take your time. I say milk the moment. Ever see that movie “The Natural?” When Roy Hobbs steps into the batter’s box, it takes forever — we see the bat boy and the manager and the pitcher and the runner and the coach and his girlfriend and the blood and the sweat and he steps out and takes a deep breath and here comes the pitch … that’s drama. Kaat the Bot fears baseball might lose that.
Photo Credit: Kenya Allen/PressBox