Here are my power rankings for Week 1 of the NFL season. As always, for Week 1 we’ll go over something we like and don’t like about each team. By “we,” we mean me.
1. Philadelphia Eagles (14-3 record last year, No. 6 final regular-season power ranking)
Like: This was a loaded, complete roster en route to the Super Bowl title and despite some losses, it still is.
Dislike: It’s hard to do it again. And curses definitely aren’t real, but like, are you sure curses aren’t real?
2. Baltimore Ravens (12-5, No. 5)
Like: If weighted for quarterback, they have the best roster in the NFL.
Dislike: Perhaps you’ve heard they have this little January problem.
3. Kansas City Chiefs (15-2, No. 1)
Like: They’re the Kansas City Chiefs.
Dislike: I’m more exhausted by the Gym/English teachers than I am “KPop Demon Hunters.”
4. Buffalo Bills (13-4, No. 3)
Like: That the internet weirdos will have something to talk about besides embarrassingly trying to defend the laughable MVP thing.
Dislike: Their roster is mid enough that this will almost certainly be a thing again.
5. Detroit Lions (15-2, No. 4)
Like: Still the majority of the roster but particularly the return of Aidan Hutchinson.
Dislike: Is the window already closing?
6. Green Bay Packers (11-6, No. 7)
Like: They’re the team in the trade that ISN’T owned by Jerry Jones.
Dislike: They still have to prove they can break through in a tough division.
7. Washington Commanders (12-5, No. 9)
Like: I actually think I’m going to put in a Jayden Daniels MVP ticket.
Dislike: Bobby Wagner is 35, Von Miller is 36, Deebo Samuel is spiritually 42.
8. Cincinnati Bengals (9-8, No. 12)
Like: They can score 60 points a game.
Dislike: They’ll need to.
9. Los Angeles Rams (10-7, No. 8)
Like: As long as Matthew Stafford is healthy, they’re in the mix.
Dislike: That’s, like, far from a certainty.
10. Denver Broncos (10-7, No. 14)
Like: Solid quarterback, some truly high-level talent, good coaching, there’s quite a lot to like here.
Dislike: The Murderers’ Row of quarterbacks standing in their way of a Super Bowl run.
11. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (10-7, No. 13)
Like: They have more receivers than an old-fashioned telephone factory.
Dislike: Why does it still feel like they’re going to win the NFC South with a 10-7 record?
12. Minnesota Vikings (14-3, No. 2)
Like: Solid roster, much to like.
Dislike: Does anyone have the first idea what to expect from J.J. McCarthy?
13. Los Angeles Chargers (11-6, No. 10)
Like: If Keenan Allen is playing for the Chargers, he’s finishing with at least 1,100 yards.
Dislike: Again, the conference they play in. If you can sense a theme.
14. Houston Texans (10-7, No. 18)
Like: I think it’s worth betting on C.J. Stroud being more of the 2023 version than the 2024 version.
Dislike: Which will be good enough to win the division and lose in the first round of the playoffs.
15. Seattle Seahawks (10-7, No. 15)
Like: I think Mike Macdonald is a tremendous coach.
Dislike: I just think he’s stuck in purgatory.
16. San Francisco 49ers (6-11, No. 22)
Like: You can squint and see a path back to contention.
Dislike: But if you squint another way, it looks a lot like last year.
17. Pittsburgh Steelers (10-7, No. 11)
Like: They’re the Pittsburgh Steelers. They’re winning nine games for sure.
Dislike: Imagine signing up for “best case scenario, you win nine games.”
18. Miami Dolphins (8-9, No. 16)
Like: To the best of my knowledge, Tua Tagovailoa is currently available.
Dislike: Unless you’re reading this in five minutes, then I have no idea.
19. Atlanta Falcons (8-9, No. 17)
Like: There are some serious playmakers
Dislike: And Kyle Pitts.
20. Chicago Bears (5-12, No. 32)
Like: I too am drunk on Ben Johnson.
Dislike: I took three Bears in my first fantasy draft, so I will almost certainly be wrong about Ben Johnson.
21. Dallas Cowboys (7-10, No. 19)
Like: It’s not like Jerry Jones is playing in the games.
Dislike: But it sounds like something he’d still like to try.
22. New England Patriots (4-13, No. 31)
Like: Probably not second guessing the Bill Belichick thing anymore.
Dislike: Gonna need a throwback version of Stefon Diggs.
23. Arizona Cardinals (8-9, No. 21)
Like: Trey McBride, Budda Baker, others I’m sure.
Dislike: It’s the Cardinals, so.
24. Indianapolis Colts (8-9, No. 20)
Like: At least they don’t have to waste their time finding out if their young quarterback can play. What a waste that would have been.
Dislike: Sorry, I guess that should have been the “dislike.” They’re starting Daniel Jones. In 2025. “Doing it wrong” is the correct phrasing.
25. Carolina Panthers (5-12, No. 25)
Like: There were positive signs last year. They could make a jump.
Dislike: Gonna have to see it before I assume it.
26. Jacksonville Jaguars (4-13, No. 24)
Like: I don’t think their head coach has embarrassed their fanbase in months.
Dislike: Most everything.
27. Las Vegas Raiders (4-13, No. 23)
Like: Geno Smith is almost certainly an upgrade.
Dislike: That’s not saying a ton.
28. Tennessee Titans (3-14, No. 29)
Like: I think Cam Ward is decent enough.
Dislike: That’s genuinely all I can say.
29. New Orleans Saints (5-12, No. 26)
Like: Somehow, I think there could be three teams worse than the one starting Spencer Rattler.
Dislike: They’re the team starting Spencer Rattler.
30. Cleveland Browns (3-14, No. 30)
Like: Joseph Vincent.
Dislike: The idea of wanting to see him get clobbered in Week 2.
31. New York Giants (3-14, No. 27)
Like: Maybe they got some free tickets to the Oasis show at the Meadowlands this weekend?
Dislike: When you have three quarterbacks, you don’t have 1 or 2.
32. New York Jets (5-12, No. 28)
Like: I remain a Justin Fields truther …
Dislike: … And yet here we are at 32.
Photo Credit: Kenya Allen/PressBox