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Glenn Clark’s 2025 NFL Power Rankings: Week 5

Glenn Clark , , ,
Lamar Jackson

Here are my power rankings for Week 5 of the NFL season.

1. Philadelphia Eagles (4-0 record, No. 1 ranking last week)

2. Buffalo Bills (4-0, No. 2)

I thought they were really good because they beat the Ravens but to be fair, maybe that was just one more game on the Big 12 schedule they’re playing this year.

3. Detroit Lions (3-1, No. 6)

They get to play the Bengals next week. They might score 175 points.

4. Los Angeles Rams (3-1, No. 7)

I have absolutely no emotion whatsoever toward the Rams. And I absolutely freaking love this video.

5. Kansas City Chiefs (2-2, No. 11)

Remember when you were a kid and you spent some time in the summer at your grandparents’ house? And your grandfather would sleep like really weird hours because he had nothing he needed to do specifically? And you’d think it would be funny to go wake him up because you were bored and he didn’t have video games at his house? And your grandmother would try telling you that was a bad idea? And then after he beat your ass you were outside hauling bags of mulch in the summer heat?

I think you get the parallel. If not, there is a lot more coming here. Just hang tight.

6. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (3-1, No. 4)

The good news for the Bucs is that no one in Florida was likely watching because they were too busy … killing and eating their pet peacocks to spite their neighbor.

7. Seattle Seahawks (3-1, No. 12)

At least no one in Baltimore is being a mega-weirdo about Mike Macdonald experiencing mild success.

8. Green Bay Packers (2-1-1, No. 5)

This is the worst loss I’ve seen since England brutally lost, 0-0, to the U.S. in the 2022 World Cup.

9. Los Angeles Chargers (3-1, No. 3)

Imagine choosing to bet your hard earned dollars on the NFL. Couldn’t be me. For at least another 40 hours.

10. Indianapolis Colts (3-1, No. 8)

My son: “Dad, what does the AD in AD Mitchell stand for?”
Me: “Well son I think it’s short for …”
My wife, oddly invested in watching football this week: “A Dummy.”

11. Pittsburgh Steelers (3-1, No. 17)

Imagine being so mid that you’re literally 3-1 and yet another team that’s 1-3 and missing their entire defensive line, three top quarterbacks, top linebacker, All-Pro fullback and maybe their literal left tackle and quarterback too is still favored to win the division over you and most of the world thinks “yeah, that’s about right.”

12. Jacksonville Jaguars (3-1, No. 19)

Appears they were.

13. San Francisco 49ers (3-1, No. 10)

Kinda killer to lose games while you still have Christian McCaffrey.

14. Denver Broncos (2-2, No. 15)

Plus there was this.

15. Washington Commanders (2-2, No. 9)

So you’re telling me it ISN’T fun to be without your two best offensive players after all? Just wanna jot something down in my notes.

16. Minnesota Vikings (2-2, No. 14)

I know this says as much about Payton Wilson as it does Jordan Addison but like, still.

17. Chicago Bears (2-2, No. 20)

Are the Bears good? Is Caleb Williams good? Is Ben Johnson good? I truly and completely do not know the answers to these questions.

18. New England Patriots (2-2, No. 24)

19. Baltimore Ravens (1-3, No. 13)

When you remember there’s still 14 more weeks to go.

20. Atlanta Falcons (2-2, No. 23)

Quick reminder that for as bad as things are, we get Ian Eagle in our lives again this Sunday.

21. Arizona Cardinals (2-2, No. 18)

Marvin Harrison Jr. deciding to become a thing could be beneficial, though!

22. Houston Texans (1-3, No. 25)

You know how funny a bit has to be for it to be funny even when it’s excruciatingly obvious how fake the bit is?

This bit was funny.

23. Cincinnati Bengals (2-2, No. 16)

This ends with Joe Flacco getting released by the Browns and somehow accidentally backdooring the Bengals into the postseason.

24. New York Giants (1-3, No. 32)

25. Dallas Cowboys (1-2-1, No. 25)

26. Carolina Panthers (1-3, No. 22)

Dude, lots of teams are literally 59 points worse from one week to the next.

27. Miami Dolphins (1-3, No. 28)

Only the Cowboys think a win felt as much like a loss as the Dolphins do.

28. Cleveland Browns (1-3, No. 21)

29. Las Vegas Raiders (1-3, No. 27)

Even if Pete Carroll’s logic was sound, this is funny.

30. New York Jets (0-4, No. 29)

31. Tennessee Titans (0-4, No. 30)

Feel for a certain sect of folks in Tennessee who have to be Titans fans AND just learned that Puerto Ricans were Americans this week. Really tough times.

32. New Orleans Saints (0-4, No. 31)

It’s good they’re moving it but like, why in the ever loving hell was a Patriots-Saints game ever scheduled for a national TV window?

Photo Credit: Colin Murphy/PressBox

Glenn Clark

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