Here are my power rankings for Week 10 of the NFL season.
1. Buffalo Bills (6-2, No. 10 last week)
Let’s turn to CBS color analyst Tony Romo for some hard hitting analysis …
2. Denver Broncos (7-2, No. 6)
Are they really the second-best team in the NFL? Probably not! But none of the teams in last week’s top five won and I have a rule that I don’t reward teams for being on a bye AND YOU KNOW WHAT? You clicked the link. You chose this. I apologize for nothing.
3. Los Angeles Rams (6-2, No. 7)
You have to feel good for the long suffering sports fans of Los Angeles.
4. Philadelphia Eagles (6-2, No. 4)
A bye week in Philly would give you time to consume a “Citywide Special” … or 10.
“We’re talking, of course, about the ‘Citywide Special’ at Bob & Barbara’s Lounge: A ¾ oz. shot of Jim Beam bourbon and a 12 oz. can of Pabst Blue Ribbon lager, all for the absurdly dangerous, wallet-friendly price of $4.”
5. Indianapolis Colts (7-2, No. 1)
Baltimore fans being let down by the Colts. A tradition that connects generations.
6. Seattle Seahawks (6-2, No. 9)
They looked amazing.
I mean, the football was fine but look at those unis.
7. New England Patriots (7-2, No. 11)
They’re now the No. 1 seed in the AFC, which is … super. Just super. Good for them. They still can’t pronounce “Albernaz.”
8. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (6-2, No. 8)
They created a signature cocktail in Tampa a few years back. It’s called the “6 a.m. on 7th Ave.” It’s intriguing.
Served in styrofoam coffee cups you might get when you order a coffee with your Obama Cuban at the West Tampa Sandwich shop, the cocktail was a tribute to the city’s immigrants.
“This is inspired by the café con leche because when I think of something to drink in Tampa, that’s the first thing on my mind. That is the most Tampa beverage as far as I’m concerned,” Mir—who also plays in local Americana band Urbane Cowboys—told competition host Greg Wolf.
“I used this opportunity to kind of tell the story of immigration into Tampa. So we’re using Bacardi rum, which originates in Cuba, Galliano ristretto which is an Italian coffee liqueur, plus some Grand Marnier to not only represent European immigration into, into Tampa, but to also represent some of that bright orange — kind of tasting the Florida sunshine,” Mir said. He even presented the drink with a classic Tampeño horderve — a guava and cheese pastry.
9. Detroit Lions (5-3, No. 2)
Wut.
10. Green Bay Packers (5-2-1, No. 3)
I repeat.
11. Los Angeles Chargers (6-3, No. 12)
Definitely not thinking at all about how Odafe Oweh has four sacks in four games with the Chargers after not having one with the Ravens. Not thinking about it. Don’t have to. Alohi Gilman is working out and helping Kyle Hamilton so I don’t have to wonder why that’s going so well in LA after it went so poorly in Baltimore. I haven’t thought about it AT ALL. Why do you keep insisting that I have?
12. Chicago Bears (5-3, No. 13)
Kinda disappointed, really. I mean, you only scored 47 points? Against Cincinnati’s defense? Underachievers.
13. San Francisco 49ers (6-3, No. 14)
Congratulations to the 49ers for winning the “Oh I completely forgot the 49ers and Giants played yesterday too” Bowl.
14. Kansas City Chiefs (5-4, No. 5)
Me, playing my childhood friend John in ping-pong for the 3,475th time (with a career 0-3,474 record).
15. Jacksonville Jaguars (5-3, No. 15)
Congratulations, I guess, to Cam Little for breaking Justin Tucker’s record for the longest field goal in NFL history. It is a record that, given how football has looked in the last few years, I assume he’ll hold for at least five or ten minutes.
16. Pittsburgh Steelers (5-3, No. 17)
The good: They forced six turnovers and finished with five sacks.
The bad: And still only won by one score.
17. Baltimore Ravens (3-5, No. 18)
Ravens fans during trade deadline week: “Give us what we want.”
The Ravens: “Got you, my dudes.”
18. Minnesota Vikings (4-4, No. 19)
Don’t look this up but every team the Ravens have faced this year has played the best game of their season the week before. Don’t look that up.
19. Carolina Panthers (5-4, No. 20)
Shame on the NFL.
20. Houston Texans (3-5, No. 16)
Still, big day for people who love punting.
21. Arizona Cardinals (3-5, No. 28)
So … ummm … we talking about Kyler Murray or?
22. Cincinnati Bengals (3-6, No. 22)
Me when I was beating my father at Roger Clemens MVP Baseball on the NES in 1992 and suddenly he got frustrated and told me to go to bed …
23. Dallas Cowboys (3-5-1, No. 21)
TFW you set your power rankings assuming the Cowboys would win and went to bed because you had to be up at 3 a.m. and then woke up and saw the results …
24. Atlanta Falcons (3-5, No. No. 23)
25. Washington Commanders (3-6, No. 24)
But happy for Commanders fans, for whom this must feel like putting on a very familiar, quite comfortable sweater.
26. New York Giants (2-7, No. 25)
Remember when they had hope? How stupid was that?
27. Miami Dolphins (2-7, No. 26)
The good news is that no one in Florida was likely watching because they were too busy … getting arrested while already wearing a prisoner costume.
28. Las Vegas Raiders (2-6, No. 27)
There’s something to be said for consistency!
29. New York Jets (1-7, No. 29)
If you’re a Jets fan, you could probably use some Penicillin. Not that kind. This one is one of New York’s more modern signature cocktails …
The Penicillin is an IBA official cocktail made with Scotch whisky, ginger, honey syrup, and fresh lemon juice.
The drink was created in 2005 by Australian bartender Sam Ross living in New York at the time. Its name derives from the drug penicillin, discovered by Scottish scientist Alexander Fleming, hinting to the medicinal properties of some of its ingredients, with suggested effects similar to that of a hot toddy which is said to relieve the symptoms of cold and flu.
It was first served in 2005 at Milk & Honey. In 2024, the Penicillin was the 11th most commonly ordered cocktail at bars worldwide.
30. Cleveland Browns (2-6, No. 30)
No one has ever enjoyed the “Brown & Orange” on the field, but maybe if you had a bye week in Cleveland, you could enjoy one at a bar.
“This cocktail is basically just whiskey and bitters because Cleveland Browns fans are just that –drunk and bitter,” says Taha. A healthy slug of rye whiskey leads the way, followed by amaro and two types of bitters. But the drink’s not all about bitterness. “The Amaro Nonino Quintessentia lends a touch of sweetness, which acts as the hope we fans have for a perennially doomed team,” he adds.
31. Tennessee Titans (1-8, No. 31)
Triangles might be sweating …
32. New Orleans Saints (1-8, No. 32)
Photo Credit: Kenya Allen/PressBox