Here are my power rankings for Week 17 of the NFL season.
1. Baltimore Ravens (12-3, No. 2 ranking last week)
Another theme week. Everyone is returning gifts this week. So we take a look at what each team might want to return this week if they could. For example …
All of the “maybe they should just move on from Lamar Jackson, he’s always hurt” takes that you’ve been trying to find to delete off your Twitter.
2. San Francisco 49ers (11-4 record, No. 1)
The Brock Purdy MVP tickets they bought. Looks like Randy Gregory bought the most …
3. Buffalo Bills (9-6, No. 3)
Most everything before Thanksgiving.
4. Miami Dolphins (11-4, No. 4)
The last three minutes against the Titans, for sure.
5. Detroit Lions (11-4, No. 6)
Almost every part of their entire history until now.
6. Cleveland Browns (10-5, No. 8)
$230 million worth of guarantees.
7. Philadelphia Eagles (11-4, No. 9)
Whatever it is that they’ve been doing of late.
8. Dallas Cowboys (10-5, No. 5)
The bright lights they’ve been playing under.
9. Kansas City Chiefs (9-6, No. 7)
Among other things, the IKEA furniture they were gifted this Christmas.
10. Los Angeles Rams (8-7, No. 15)
Their overtime punt coverage.
11. Seattle Seahawks (8-7, No. 16)
November.
12. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (8-7, No. 18)
Any talk of doing away with divisions.
13. Pittsburgh Steelers (8-7, No. 22)
All of the other reindeer quarterbacks.
14. Cincinnati Bengals (8-7, No. 10)
Giving up 34 points to the Steelers? In this economy? How about their dignity.
15. Jacksonville Jaguars (8-7, No. 11)
Their decision to revert back to the Urban Meyer Jaguars.
16. Houston Texans (8-7, No. 12)
Everything where C.J. Stroud hasn’t been involved.
17. Green Bay Packers (7-8, No. 19)
Their defense.
18. Las Vegas Raiders (7-8, No. 21)
Their terrible decision-making processes when it comes to hiring actual head coaches (as opposed to their brilliant decision-making processes when it comes to hiring interim head coaches).
19. Atlanta Falcons (7-8, No. 23)
All of the games where they didn’t think they should give the ball to their first-round running back.
20. Indianapolis Colts (8-7, No. 13)
The owner.
Evergreen tweet.
21. Denver Broncos (7-8, No. 14)
The hope they allowed themselves to feel for a minute.
22. New Orleans Saints (7-8, No. 17)
Their choice to not be involved in the Lamar Jackson sweepstakes.
23. Minnesota Vikings (7-8, No. 20)
Whatever they did that has forced the karma of having to choose between Jaren Hall and Nick Mullens to start an NFL game.
24. Chicago Bears (6-9, No. 25)
The Roquan Smith trade, perhaps?
25. New York Jets (6-9, No. 28)
Everything since 1969.
26. New York Giants (5-10, No. 24)
The $20,000 that anyone might have paid Tommy DeVito for an appearance. Yikes.
27. Tennessee Titans (5-10, No. 26)
The time they gave Ryan Tannehill to throw.
28. New England Patriots (4-11, No. 31)
Everything about the Mac Jones era.
29. Los Angeles Chargers (5-10, No. 27)
To their credit, they went ahead and did it before Christmas so they could avoid the lines.
30. Carolina Panthers (2-13, No. 29)
Really hard to think of any one decision they might regret and would want to return. Just … tough to imagine there’s anything.
31. Arizona Cardinals (3-12, No. 30)
Every ounce of their history that isn’t Pat Tillman, Kurt Warner or Larry Fitzgerald.
32. Washington Commanders (4-11, No. 32)
Literally everything.
Photo Credit: Kenya Allen/PressBox