Here are my power rankings for Week 1 of the NFL season. For Week 1, we’ll go over what I like and why I like their chances and I don’t like their chances this year.
1. Kansas City Chiefs (11-6 record last year)
Like: To my knowledge, Patrick Mahomes is breathing.
Don’t Like: To this point, it has been literally impossible to win three straight Super Bowls.
2. San Francisco 49ers (12-5)
Like: They still have a roster as well-rounded as your stomach after you returned from your freshman year of college.
Don’t Like: I’m not so sure it’s “them vs. everyone else” in the NFC anymore.
3. Baltimore Ravens (13-4)
Like: When Lamar Jackson plays football, they tend to be tremendously good.
Don’t Like: Can’t help but be a little worried about whether the offensive line can keep Lamar Jackson playing football.
4. Detroit Lions (12-5)
Like: Their offensive line was outstanding even before they added Kevin Zeitler.
Don’t Like: They still have to live with the burden of trying to win a Super Bowl while being the actual Detroit Lions.
5. Cincinnati Bengals (9-8)
Like: A healthy Joe Burrow is much better at football than haircuts.
Don’t Like: Part of the reason you’ve been racing to draft Chase Brown to your fantasy team is because you’re REALLY not convinced Zack Moss can possibly be the answer.
6. Houston Texans (10-7)
Like: Almost everything, really.
Don’t Like: Going from three wins to winning a Super Bowl in just two seasons really shouldn’t be possible.
7. Miami Dolphins (11-6)
Like: A roster full of really good players looked in moments like one of the best in the NFL last season.
Don’t Like: Are we sure they’re over what happened at the end of last season? That was more alarming than the University of Florida football team.
8. Philadelphia Eagles (11-6)
Like: Adding Saquon Barkley to that offense really should make them challenging to defend.
Don’t Like: The thing that I said about the Dolphins but somehow even worse?
9. Los Angeles Rams (10-7)
Like: If Matthew Stafford stays healthy, the offense should be aces.
Don’t Like: Following the retirement of Aaron Donald, the defense has more to prove than the Orioles’ lineup.
10. Green Bay Packers (9-8)
Like: Strength in numbers. They have a lot of quality on both sides of the ball.
Don’t Like: I’m not sure how much truly special they have.
11. Buffalo Bills (11-6)
Like: Josh Allen is good at football.
Don’t Like: I am to understand you’re supposed to have players who can catch the ball, too.
12. Atlanta Falcons (7-10)
Like: They finally have a quarterback. Any quarterback at all.
Don’t Like: We’re working under the assumption that all of their issues were quarterback-related.
13. Dallas Cowboys (12-5)
Like: It’s Dak Prescott and CeeDee Lamb and Micah Parsons, so I imagine they’ll be at least pretty cool.
Don’t Like: If you weren’t paying attention, you didn’t know their No. 2 receiver (Brandin Cooks) was still in the league. Dalvin Cook might actually be their best option at running back.
14. New York Jets (7-10)
Like: On paper, they sure as hell have the pieces.
Don’t Like: Tom Brady has warped our thought process about what quarterbacks can do after 40.
15. Cleveland Browns (11-6)
Like: Myles Garrett. The defense. It’s old-school AFC North as hell.
Don’t Like: The thing where we’re not completely certain you didn’t get rid of Joe Flacco because you feared the possibility of a quarterback controversy at some point this season.
16. Chicago Bears (7-10)
Like: If Caleb Williams is nearly as good as he’s supposed to be, the offense should be potent.
Don’t Like: If Caleb Williams is nearly as good as he’s supposed to be, the defense still scares the hell out of me.
17. Tennessee Titans (6-11)
Like: Even following the departure of Derrick Henry, there’s actually a lot to like about this team if Will Levis can take a step forward.
Don’t Like: “if Will Levis can take a step forward.”
18. Jacksonville Jaguars (9-8)
Like: They did get off to an 8-3 start last year.
Don’t Like: And a 1-5 finish.
19. Los Angeles Chargers (5-12)
Like: There was a serious amount of bad luck to their mess of a season.
Don’t Like: A Greg Roman offense without a Lamar Jackson.
20. Indianapolis Colts (9-8)
Like: I, much like you, had completely forgotten that they somehow managed to go 9-8 without Anthony Richardson last year.
Don’t Like: Right but how?
21. New Orleans Saints (9-8)
Like: The defense should still be really good.
Don’t Like: I can’t say the same for Derek Carr.
22. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (9-8)
Like: While I’m high on the Falcons, I don’t think the division runs away from them.
Don’t Like: I think you’ve seen the ceiling for Baker Mayfield.
23. Seattle Seahawks (9-8)
Like: I believe Mike Macdonald will bring a real energy to the job.
Don’t Like: He’s not bringing a franchise quarterback, however.
24. Pittsburgh Steelers (10-7)
Like: Every time you think the post-Roethlisberger Steelers are cooked, they find a remarkable way to backdoor into the postseason despite not having a good quarterback.
Don’t Like: How comically they’re trying to pretend Russell Wilson can still be a good quarterback.
25. Washington Commanders (4-13)
Like: I’m buying in on Jayden Daniels. I think he’s legit.
Don’t Like: He has to play for the Washington Commanders.
26. Denver Broncos (8-9)
Like: Sean Payton is so good he somehow coaxed eight wins out of this group last year.
Don’t Like: With an amazing coaching job, he could probably do the same this year.
27. New England Patriots (4-13)
Like: Drake Maye could surprise some folks.
Don’t Like: I don’t know that any of the rest of the team can.
28. Arizona Cardinals (4-13)
Like: The duo of Kyler Murray and Marvin Harrison Jr. really could be a lot of fun.
Don’t Like: If for some reason you had to watch the Cardinals.
29. New York Giants (6-11)
Like: Malik Nabers. Other things I’m sure. I can’t think of them, but I have to imagine.
Don’t Like: Ah! I forgot to say Deonte Banks! Malik Nabers and Deonte Banks and that’s the list.
30. Minnesota Vikings (7-10)
Like: Not just Justin Jefferson, actually. I happen to be pretty high about the Aaron Jones acquisition.
Don’t Like: The Sam Darnold of it all.
31. Las Vegas Raiders (8-9)
Like: They still have Davante Adams, for example.
Don’t Like: They went into the offseason with one glaring roster issue and just said “LOL who needs a quarterback.”
32. Carolina Panthers (2-15)
Like: Maybe things could click for Bryce Young this year.
Don’t Like: Yeah … maybe.
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